It has got out of hand a little. Once meant as a few pages to explain to my clients what my approach is to (the prevention of) burnout, this text grew to the size of a real article and eventually it became a book. All this knowing that 'limiting' is a central topic in dealing with stress.
The theme ‘chronic stress’ affects me not only personally - I once had it myself as you will read later on - but it also has, and undoubtedly for this reason, my professional interest. In my practice for coaching and psychotherapy I regularly accompany people who have had to lay down their work temporarily because of chronic stress. This is almost always a very unpleasant and fierce experience, which is accompanied by physical complaints and psychological pain.
Although the lives and problems of people are unique, it is possible to recognize the specific psychological forces that underlie chronic stress. It is essential to understand and change these psychodynamics, especially if cognitive insight into one's own functioning turns out to be insufficient to be able to change one's own behavior after a burnout. Sometimes there are unconscious forces working in a person that continue to cause emotional instability. By changing these psychodynamics, it is possible to achieve a new, lasting balance in a person's personality, enabling to make healthy choices in work and private situations. Of course, this does not eliminate any form of tension, but life can be lived without chronic stress.
From chapter 3 about fear and sorrow:
A person uses his fear to prevent this, for example by being alert that people will continue to like him and not reject him. In other words, there is an inner alliance between fear and sorrow, with sorrow as a victim and fear as a savior. The fear takes care of the sorrow (and thus actually strives for happiness). Just as 'fear of failure' wants to prevent the grief from falling short in the eyes of another person and being rejected. Or like ‘seperation anxiety' which is to counter the sorrow of being alone. Or like ‘mysophobia' (fear for contamination and germs) exists to save someone from having to bear the grief to be ill or die. So as human beings we need our fear to prevent sorrow, while paradoxically fear itself does not make us happy. ×